The Litter Box Ep. 2 - Affection

“If cats didn’t want to be kissed on their cute and fuzzy little heads, they shouldn’t have such cute and fuzzy little heads.”              -Unknown

Believe it or not, but cats are surprisingly affectionate animals. Of course, everyone thinks they’re aloof and mysterious little jerks; this couldn’t be further from the truth. I mean, sure – my cat won’t let me kiss her head, and when I’m sick she only walks on me for brief periods just to make sure I’m alive enough to feed her and empty her box. And she won’t sleep anywhere near me in bed where I can reach over and pet her, instead preferring to sleep by my feet (where she gets kicked in my sleep. And I know she knows better.) And she certainly doesn’t want to cuddle with me when I’m relaxing in my recliner. And…

…

 hm.

 Okay, okay, I’m somewhat kidding here. Not that I’ve told any lies about my cat, but it’s… less than helpful to view affection from cats in the terms of what you’d expect with affection from humans. At best, you’ll end up with a skewed view of whether your cat loves you or not. As a general rule, a cat that wants to spend time with you, loves you. This certainly applies to my cat – she’s absolutely everything I described above – but the fact that she’ll sit on the arm of my recliner with her back to me lets me know that she loves (and more importantly, trusts) me. At least, as far as any cat understands the concept of love.

 This is, in my opinion, the crux of any relationship with a cat. In the wild, cats are both predators and prey – sure, they munch on the small rodents and birds to keep themselves alive, but they also need to watch out for the foxes and other larger predators that might find them a tasty meal. When they trust you, it means that they realize that, despite you being significantly larger than them, they’re safe with you.

 See, another misconception about cats is that they’re not social animals. Sure, they’re somewhat aloof by nature, but anyone that’s seen a bonded pair of cats couldn’t possibly believe that they’re actually incapable of forming bonds with others. In fact, this is what your cat’s done with you – they’ve accepted you as a (dumb and clumsy) part of their family. Not only do they believe they’re safe with you, but they believe you’ll protect them from the big and scary things in their little slice of the world. This is why a cat turning their back to you is a high compliment – they know you’ll watch it.

 Of course, cats are capable of showing human-like affection as well. I have a friend who is chronically ill, and her cat will bury himself under the covers with her when she’s in bed sick. There are thousands of videos out there of cats semi-politely asking for attention with little headbutts and meows. Growing up, my cats would greet me at the door and rub my legs until they got tired of it. And of course, some of my readers have been absolutely screaming at me since the first paragraph that cats can totally be affectionate.

 Cats don’t necessarily react to affection in the same way you’d expect a human to either. Kissing them on the head elicits confuzzlement and most cats don’t like to be held and cuddled too much. In fact, about the only reaction they have in common with humans is when you scritch them on the head... at least, I know I react the same way when my head gets scritched. They do tend to tolerate a human’s affectionate advances once they get to know you, though – even my cat, cantankerous drama queen that she is, will tolerate being held and cuddled for a little while. She still can’t deal with the kisses though – but see above for my opinion on that.

 And for all I’ve been poking fun at the concept, I believe that cats are affectionate creatures and we just may not understand how they show it. Even if my cat pretends she doesn’t love me so I don’t get too uppity about having her in the house.

 Got a story about your affectionate kitty? E-mail thelitterbox@chicagolandanimalrescue.org and let us know!